Knighting's Salvation
by CriticalSnow
Summary: Lila Mellark was never beautiful or perfect, much to her dismay. Knighting never had another person matter as much as her. How can one seventeen year old boy learn to fix such a broken bird while he may be the one who needs fixing? [Love story. Rated T for themes of Anorexia and dark subjects like Mental illness.]
1. Prologue

This is the prologue for my new story. Please review if you want more. The itallics are a flashback in case you can't figure it out ;) Any feedback is appreciated it's the only thing that keeps me updating. I know there's grammatical/spelling mistakes just warn me and I will try to fix it next chapter thanks! -Evelyn

Prolouge

* * *

I loved her more then the rain that fell from the sky. Some may think that's not a large sum of love, but it is. More then you can comprehend. Rain was the thing that saved my very life when I was three and had been left to die with a nasty infection. My mother never loved me. The rain had. It fell and brought me life, brought me the opportunity to love this girl more then stars and the galaxies, more then the most beautiful thing you have ever laid your eyes on. Lila Mellark wasn't beautiful. People said she was _too_ pale and _too_ thin.

"Oh her eyes are much _too_ large for little face. Her hair is _too_ bright. That child is just sickly." Always _too_ something when it came to the sixteen year old girl. Aunt Victoria always had something to say about her when we visited the little bakery that lay on the towns edge of District Twelve. I knew better then to correct my aunt. She always had something bad to say about someone or another. When it came to Lila, I was always protective. Her family had feed me for the first twelve years of my life, how could I not be grateful? In return I took care of Lila, simple as that. Although I've always made sure to keep it as unnoticeable as possible. Lila was tiny, but she was independent and stubborn as they came. Always had to control something. Whether it was her weight, family, schoolwork, or any other situation: controlled.

"Knighting will you stop fussing." Lila scowls at me from her bed. Her hospital bed. She relapsed again three days ago.

"Only because you're serious this time," I mutter and lay back down all her study notes. Just because she wasn't in school it didn't mean she wouldn't be working at her schoolwork. I can't blame her though these hospitals are a living hell.

"How do you know i'm serious?" This time when she speaks there's a small spark of interest in her usually dull eyes.

I think a while before I answer. Deciding the truth is the best way to handle this. "You only call me by my full name when you're in dark times."

She looks down for a minute, pondering, then nods. It seems like she doesn't want to agree with me. When she's like this she never does. All she wants is to be perfect, say all the right things.

"You've always known me… Knight." I look up, she's smiling (in the sad way she does) and every things okay for now although there's constant chaos all around us. Even if there's the dull beep of the heart monitors and the constant drip of the IV. The nurses filing in forcing jello down a veiny, pale throat and me having to sit in despair thinking her body will shut down. How can this be normal? It's not for you. For me? That's just another saturday.

* * *

_Knighting clutches the hand of his mommy nervously. No wait, not his mommy… his aunt. He mentally scolds himself for this mistake. Last time he called Auntie that she whipped him with the spoon. She guides him through the crowds of people. Its overwhelming to him. The sounds of the people and all the smells. It just recently rained and the smell of the wet pavement goes some ways to calm him. The mid november whether is chilly in District Twelve and the coat he's wearing has holes. For a minute he feels shame flood through him but quickly pushes it away, this life was a gift compared to the one he could of lived, and Aunt Victoria makes sure to remind him daily. _

_They finally reach a green shiny door. The building is brightly lit and new, there's windows full of baked goods like bread and cookies. He inhales deeply growing excited like the children he saw at school when they received new clean shoes. _

_"Come on Knighting look at you, you're dreadful," sighs Aunt Victoria. She brushes back his black hair and mildly warns him he needs to save up for a proper hair cut or she'll do it herself. Rubbing the dirt of his pale face with her handkerchief she finally accepts him to be presentable and they enter._

_"Aw welcome Victoria how have you-" The man who was speaking breaks off when his eyes find Knighting. They quickly soften and the blonde haired man sighs and mutters, "Oh Victoria."_

_"My sister has disappeared. This is her boy Knighting." Victoria pulls Knighting up to meet the man, much to the boys utter dismay, and the blue eyed giant leans down to his height._

_"Hi there buddy! My names Peeta. Cookie or doughnut?" He holds out the two options to Knighting, who points to the cookie. The giant ruffles his hair and his kind eyes crinkle as he smiles. Knighting decides he likes this man. Very much so._

_"Why don't you head on back and look at all the different cookies. I frost them myself, with the help of the Lila. My daughter is back there, she's four so you guys are pretty close right?" Peeta asks the little boy._

_He scowls up at the giant and says, "No... I'm five and she's a girl." Aunt Victoria throws the little boy a glare but the man only smiles and begins to have a quiet conversation with his aunt. He holds out for a while, dusting the coal of his shoes, brushing his hair out of his dark grey eyes. Growing bored with the adult, talk Knighting finally decides to give up. _

_This was the first time he saw the blonde haired angel, although she was a lot different then. She was facing slightly away, so he only saw half of her face, but he felt his stomach get sick. Her hair was long and blonde. The girl had the most electric blue eyes on the planet, and only tiny specks of grey could be seen in them. She was short and a little chubby but Knighting didn't seem to care. The two awkwardly shared a cookie together before agreeing to be friends. She told him her name, but when he tried to tell her his, she couldn't pronounce it quite right, shortening it to just Knight. _

_"No. It's Knight-ting," he had tried to explain. She had only pouted and the two argued for a while until she won: by biting his arm._

_When his Aunt came to retrieve him he had gotten crumbs all over his torn up jacket. The giant seemed to notice Knighting's embarrassment and helped him clean it off. Peeta and Lila waved as the two left the bakery with a bag full of baked goods and squirrels. The girls mom had returned and the three smiled at him as he turned to look back. When it started to rain and their images got blurry he felt the first waves of relief rush through him… and he knew. He knew they would be his salvation._


	2. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games Trilogy by: Susan Collins, or any of the characters from the trilogy in the fan fiction.

* * *

Chapter 1: Violet

"Wake up Knight!" When my eyes open I see two pale ones staring back at me. She's up rather early this morning.

"Shouldn't you be uh… you know," I say, not sure how to word my thoughts so early in the morning.

Smirking she replies, "I discharged myself." Then she hops of my bed and starts pulling clothes from my dresser. Groaning, I pull the blanket back over my head to block out the light and the annoyance of her bad actions. Discharging herself is not only illegal, but has been done one too many times.

"Aren't you going to be arrested," the words come out muffled by my blanket. I can guess the answer, since she's done this many times before.

"Of course not. Like the hospital cares what happens to me now," she replies while tearing the covers off me again. I know I should say sorry. I choose not to. Lila doesn't like apologies anyways.

* * *

_"You should never be sorry for the bad things that happen to me. I bring them upon myself. I deserve this. We all deserve this." Lila looked at Knighting with hopeless eyes. He felt helpless sitting there in the car. Peeta was driving. How could he help the twelve year-old girl? He didn't know what to say and how to truly apologize for being so blind to what had happened. How could he of let her get so deep into her twisted thoughts? Now she would be gone all summer and he would be alone with his aunt. Alone with the guilt._

_ "People care Lila," he says meaningfully. She only laid her head back on the seat and closed her eyes. Lila was too small. He hadn't noticed until her father Peeta had knocked on the door and told Knight that she was going away this summer for help. Knighting had felt shock then fear. He had heard in his Health class about girls like her. Except he had never guessed that someone he knew could be suffering and he would of never known. Her thighs were like toothpicks. Arms like straws. _

_He looked at her with deep regret. If only he could of found a way to tell her how he really felt, maybe she wouldn't of thought she wasn't good enough._

* * *

"People care Lila," I mumble pulling myself up to get ready for a most likely uneventful sunday. The words sound hollow and overused even to me. She won't believe them and i've given up trying to make her. She's quiet while I shuffle around getting dressed, words weighing on us. Strangling our throats. I pull on the clothes she's laid out for me and quickly brush my teeth.

"Knight, when are you going to cut your hair?" I look over at her and scowl at the mention of it. The dark wavy hair is getting long. My bangs are almost covering my eyes and the rest of the hair is nearing my chin. I still refuse to let her touch it.

"I'm not letting you play beauty shop with me again Lila." Her eyes suddenly light up like i've challenged her and I realize too late that maybe I have. She grabs a pair of scissors from my desk and I bolt.

"No no no NO NO LILA STOP." I'm laughing despite the terror and the tension is once again broken as I run around the house. Going down the stairs, down the halls, through the kitchen, she finally runs out of breath and she grins ruefully and apologizes.

"Okay fine, you win," she gasps out of breath. I accept her words of surrender and start to make myself eggs. I look over at her a few times and she's deep in thought. She's biting her lip and her eyebrows are furrowed, like she's debating something. One side of her must win out because she finally looks at me and, "I've met someone." My heart stops and I immediately shut down, hiding any emotion on my face. I've gotten good at this since meeting Lila and I know there's no way that even she can now read me.

"Huh that's cool," I mumble and flip my omelet. Fuck, this is _so_ not cool.

"When you went home yesterday morning he came into my room to check my blood. He's an intern at the hospital, name's Andrew." _Oh wow good for Andrew,_ I think sarcastically but only end up doing and uninterested, "Huh. Nice," in response.

"Yeah. He's nineteen! That's only three years difference. He want's to be a doctor, like you Knight. And he has an amazing smi-" I block her out now. She must go on for at least another five minute before she realizes i'm not paying attention. There's silence as I eat the eggs and begin to clean up. She looks hurt by my lack of unadulterated adoration for the first guy she's ever mentioned liking. Well screw it, for once it won't get to be about her and her feelings. I feel anger rising at how blind she is. _How can she not tell? How does she not notice how fucking hard i'm trying?_ The pots bang around in the sink as I turn the water on to clean them.

"What's your problem?" Lila mumbles. I try not to turn on her right then and there. _What's my problem? Well first off, _I go through an angry list in my head that would definitely tell her what my "problem" is. I only up end saying nothing in response and wipe any emotion that has grown to be noticeable off my face. I'm cold and impassive again, shutting her out like she's done so many times to me.

"I'm going to work now," I tell her as I walk out to the main entrance, her fast on my heels, and begin to put my shoes on.

"I don't understand what i've done wrong," she says quietly. I know if I turn around i'll see her looking all hurt and victimized. She's good at controlling the situation and turning them around to get others to apologize for their bad behavior. I know she probably thinks i'm behaving out of line. I'm not quite sure if she knows exactly why, but i'm too ramped up right now to confess love to somebody i've known all my life. In a way I can understand why this is my fault, always being too afraid to tell her how I feel. It's pathetic really, allowing myself to get too attached to one person. I could never really control myself around her though. She saved me in more ways then I could ever pay her back for. These realizations are the things that make me truly sorry.

"Sorry. Tired is all," I reply and with my back still turned to her I walk out the door, leaving any feelings of love for her behind as well.

* * *

Hello! I know there's a lot of mistakes sorry. I just like to write sometimes for fun. The story is supposed to almost be like a journal for Knighting (like the word knight with a ting in it xD) and how he learns to deal with his emotions and possibly his past while caring for Lila who needs all the help she can get. There short because I want each one to feel like a little story within itself. Each chapter title will have a song name that describes the emotion. This one is Violet by Hole. If you can review it really helps me out. Thank you first reviewer you're awesome! -Evelyn


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